‘My life is ruined because my partner went off with someone else and it’s all his/her fault’. ‘I can never be successful now because my business partner stole all the money out of the business’. ‘I can never lose weight because I don’t like fruit and vegetables’. We’ve all heard statements like these, perhaps we even use them to define ourselves. What it means is that we are not taking any responsibility for our own lives, we are looking for and finding excuses and reasons to support our problems and issues. It is a state of total disempowerment – being in victim mode. In NLP we use the term ‘Cause and Effect’ to describe how we run our lives. When we are ‘at effect’ we blame everyone else for what is not working in our lives.
The flip side of this is being ‘at cause”. This is a far more empowering and productive way to be in life, taking charge and being fully responsible for your actions. There is an old saying that ‘it doesn’t matter what happens to you in life, it’s how you deal with it’ and this is very true.
Certain things that happen in life can throw us off balance – divorce, death of a loved one, financial problems, illness and many other events. It is very easy, when things go pear-shaped, to fall into the victim mentality. There’s a time to grieve, certainly, but at some point it’s time to move on, learn what is to be learned from the event or situation and make empowered decisions for your future. When you do this, you become empowered by your life rather than demoralised and weakened.
The secret to being ‘at cause’ is all in your head. It sounds simple doesn’t it? It is simple – change how you think and what you believe about the event and you’ll be in control. Take charge of your feelings and beliefs, choose to only have positive thoughts, be mindful of the chatter running through your head at all times and only allow empowered and life-affirming thoughts to be present. When you do this regularly and monitor what you allow in your mind, the results and changes in your life are amazing.
The reason this works is based on physics – true! Everything on the planet has a vibration. People, furniture, stones, plants, animals, bits of carpet, everything. Now, physics tells us that things that vibrate at a similar rate are attracted to one another. To put it in very simple terms, when we are positive and happy, we vibrate at a high level and therefore we attract other things and people who are vibrating at a similar level. The reverse is also true. When we’re depressed and angry, we will attract other depressed and angry people and events into our lives. The onus is on us to take charge of our vibrations, to raise them as high as possible so we can attract good things to us – this is what being ‘at cause’ is all about.
So how can I do this? I hear you ask. There are many things you can do to help yourself. Things such as eating healthy food, drinking plenty of water and doing regular exercise are a good place to start. Being kind to yourself, rewarding yourself when you are being ‘at cause’ and spending time with other ‘at cause’ people. For the really big stuff that needs shifting, get some professional Life Coaching from a qualified NLP practitioner.
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